These three videoclips were sent to me with the combined title "You just can't fix stupid!". I think that sums it up perfectly...
Then, there's this one, which could easily fit into the same title category...
I AM THANKFUL --
...for the wife who says it's hot dogs tonight,
because she is home with me, and not out with someone else.
...for the husband who is on the sofa being a couch potato,
because he is home with me, and not out at the bars.
...for the teenager who is complaining about doing dishes
because it means she is at home, not on the streets.
...for the taxes I pay
because it means I am employed.
...for the mess to clean after a party
because it means I have been surrounded by friends.
...for the clothes that fit a little too snug
because it means I have enough to eat.
...for my shadow that watches me work
because it means I am out in the sunshine
...for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, and gutters that need fixing
because it means I have a home.
...for all the complaining I hear about the government
because it means we have freedom of speech..
...for the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot
because it means I am capable of walking
and I have been blessed with transportation.
...for my huge heating bill
because it means I am warm.
...for the lady behind me in service who sings off key
because it means I can hear.
...for the pile of laundry and ironing
because it means I have clothes to wear.
...for weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day
because it means I have been capable of working hard.
...for the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours
because it means I am alive.
...and finally, for too much e-mail
because it means I have friends who are thinking of me.
PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,
for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either.
Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and
leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be
promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of
car payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.That
way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,
and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
probably worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put
it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side,
and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are
moving.
20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative
on the same night.
You're An EXTREME Redneck When.....
1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the
dinner table in front of her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down
depending on how much gas is in it.
3. You've been married three times and still have the
same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls
on a different night.
5. You wonder how service stations keep their
restrooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying,
"Hey, guys, watch this."
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling
fan.
9. Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled
Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house
exploded right off its wheels.
12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth
than your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the
fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get
a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because
there's a law against it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting
your wife drunk.
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