WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY:

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and Point A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with That.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Expresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favors"

7. Finish All Your Sentences With "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't Use Any Punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Go To A Poetry Recital and Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.

13. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

14. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

15. When The Money Comes Out of The ATM, Scream, "I Won!, I Won!"

16. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

17. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

18. Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile... It's called Therapy.

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